I haven’t taken a real good look at myself in a while. Like really looked; at how much I’ve grown, how much more I need to grow, and just reflected on who I am.

I’ve come a long way from my “bad girl” ways, self destructive habits, and the completely guarded girl I used to be. But it happened, I grew up, well somewhat. haha

I’m proud of who I am now. I’m engaged to an AMAZING man, more focused and determined to finish school than I’ve ever been, and I have a great relationship with my parents. Luckily, all my horrible choices in actions lead me to him. The best thing that ever happened to me. <3

It’s funny how life works out, but I’m simply enjoying life in it’s entirety.

I can’t wait to have time for myself again!

To do the simple things like get my hair or nails done, go tanning, actually finish chores, and just be able to RELAX! I have so much unpacking I need to do, so many recipes I want to try out, and damn does my hair need some attention! >_<

I’m definitely excited to spoil myself next week! 

It’s crazy how fast 1 year flies by.

Our lease is almost up, and I’m starting to pack my life away (again). I’m such a hoarder, and I can’t bring myself to throw anything away. I have stuff that I haven’t touched for years, but as soon as I throw it away, I need it like a week later! But so far I have 2 bags of clothes ready to donate.

Now to figure out where we’re moving TO! >_<

Nothing lasts forever. Sometimes you just aren’t capable of seeing everything. You see what you want, and ignore everything else.

But it’s always better to prepare yourself for the worst.

This year’s goals (other than the typical “I will lose weight” lol) will be to worry less, stop complaining about the small things, and just be happy.

For the first time ever, I can honestly say I love my life. Of course I’d like to be done with school, making over 50K a year (after taxes =P), and traveling, but who wouldn’t? I have a great relationship with my parents, an amazing boyfriend, and great friends (even though they’re all in different states).

The saying goes, “you don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone”. Luckily for me, I’ve never lost anything that was worth appreciating.

People are fuckin stupid beyond reasonable explanation…

I need a LONG vacation somewhere tropical, far, far, FAR away.

Is there a job out there that pays over 50K a year, has benefits, and DOESN’T deal with people or the public?!?!

I’ve definitely learned more about myself over the years. The most recent discovery/realization I’ve made is that I hate people. LOL Yes. I am NOT a people person. I pulled it off for many years, but I’ve reached my limit. I can’t deal with people’s rudeness, stupidity, and utter lack of what should be “common sense”.

I don’t know any career that doesn’t deal with people, but a limited contact to people will suffice. Information Technology perhaps? That’s all I can think of…

I’m my own worst enemy.

I’m great at self sabotage… I constantly over think the little things. I dwell way too much on the past. And my expectations are way too high…

Ok, I know some people don’t realize they smell like days old shit, but COME the-fuck ON!!!

Being in a 100+ degree room, and TRYING to do yoga on an empty stomach (because they tell you to), is hard enough. Smelling someone’s bad BAD BAD body odor, makes it too difficult to endure.

I tried my hardest to stay in the room, but when the instructor opened the door for some cool air, I got the biggest wind of ASS that I almost puked then and there. I had to leave, and I couldn’t go back in… I pray there’s no stinky people tomorrow…

I’ll admit it. I’m a complete Daddy’s girl.

My parents raised me to be independent, and to rely only on myself or them. I’ve always had too much pride to admit defeat, or that I needed help from anyone. (Mostly because I never considered anyone to be as reliable or dependable as myself.) But now that my Dad has moved to California, I feel so lost. I have a great man who I can actually depend on, but he can’t be with me every moment that I’m sad. I hate this feeling of loneliness and insecurity, and I hate that I haven’t been the greatest daughter to my parents. Especially since they’ve always been there to support me, and help me fix every stupid regrettable mistake that I’ve made.

All I want to do is curl up under the covers and let out all the bottled up emotions I try so hard to hide. I need by man to hold me right now.